accomplished twins. life is a go
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
my liver is dry heaving
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
