There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
