Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
