I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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