i just google imaged poop.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize