one might say we're banned from that church
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
