i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
