dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
