i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
