I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
