rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Randomize
