the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
