If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
