Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
