census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
