but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
