She said her name was "party"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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