Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
