i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i think i just lost a toe
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