if i can run in heels then i can drive
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
