For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
