im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
and eventually we just all took our pants off
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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