If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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