It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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