'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Life is so much better after having sex.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she pinky promised me she was 18
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
