The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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