I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
