fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
