I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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