I think I died a long time ago.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
