Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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