My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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