I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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