im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
