the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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