I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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