you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize