Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
