My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
