I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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