Whod you bang
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
