If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
