Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
