I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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