My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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