I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
