operation harelip BJ is a go
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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