Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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