did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
