News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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