The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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