Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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