I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
