Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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