I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
