I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
