I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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