im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
